When Fangirls Attack
by ACryForHelp
Summary: Valentine's Day. Fun, right? Add fangirls. Still fun? Contains the Akatsuki. Yeah.
1. Wanted: Female Company

It's February! You know what that means . . . That mushy lovey dovey crap. I know. It makes me sick too. But, I couldn't _possibly _give up this perfect opportunity. Truthfully, I don't really have experience writing fluff and the sort. I do know how to write comedy and the awkwardness that tags along, though. So, I'm going to stop rambling now and let you read.

**You know those things that say, 'Don't try this at home'? This is one of those. Don't attack the Akatsuki. (Who don't belong to me.)**

* * *

><p>"Everyone. Meeting."<p>

All of the Akatsuki heard these words through their minds, and they knew that it meant business. By this point in time, the Akatsuki had learned that when Pein called a meeting, you _came_. No one wanted go through _that_ again. *Shudder* Apparently locking grown men in a room with pink sparkly walls and Justin Bieber playing up to 11 (K/N Thumbs up if you get the 'Up to 11' joke!) was a good form of punishment. The only problem with that is that they needed a new speaker. The old one had been brutally maimed into a million pieces. And then stomped upon. And set on fire. So, they all went back to the base in record time.

Once all of them were assembled in the meeting room, Pein cleared his throat and stood up. The Akatsuki watched as he proceeded to speak.

"All of you, I have taken some of your –"He hesitated. "_Ideas . . ._ into consideration."

"ABOUT EFF'N TIME! I knew you'd add a Jashinist altar in the main room!" Hidan was cheering and almost hugged Pein, but was stopped by The Look. You know the one. Hidan sat quietly back down. No one else interrupted.

"As I was _saying_ before I was so rudely interrupted, I have taken some of your ideas into consideration. No, Kisame, you will not get a pool. And Kakuzu, I don't pay you, so you _cannot_ and _will not_ get a raise." The two mentioned looked at the floor, hopes crushed.

"Pein, honey, I don't mean to be rude- I would never do that- but can you please get to the point?"

Konan smiled weakly up at him from where she was sitting. He sighed and continued what he was saying.

"As many of you have mentioned, there seems to be a lacking of female company." At this, Konan got up and left the room. He rubbed his temples, already knowing that this would not go over so well with her. He'd explain it to her later.

By now, the Akatsuki had actually gained interest in what their Leader was saying. Kakuzu held his hand up, waiting to get his attention.

"Yes?"

Kakuzu started his ever so famous 'We need to save money' rant. It might have been the 'This is too expensive' rant. Maybe the 'Do we really need this?' rant. Whatever rant it was, it had better be short. I don't feel like writing it out.

"Having more company than needed will eventually cost us. Transportation, food. . . "

Deidara, disliking Kakuzu's opinion, clamped his hand the miser's mouth.

"I agree with Leader-sama. We need chicks, un!"

Sasori glanced over and spoke. "To think that I would know by now that my partner was a lesbian. . ."

Deidara growled, taking his hand from where he had quieted Kakuzu. Kakuzu coughed and glared at the blonde, but quickly got up and left to wash the taste out of his mouth. Deidara's hand mouth stuck out its tongue, having made a bad decision. Back to the story.

"I'M A DUDE, YEAH!"

Itachi looked up at the two from where he was meditating. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Sasori smirked, knowing that no one was going to defend Deidara's argument. Or, so he thought.

"Sempai's a guy! Tobi knows!"

The Akatsuki (Or what was left of it still in the room) stared at Tobi with a wide eyed expression. All shared a single thought:

_And how does he know this?_

Kisame quickly stood up, breaking the awkward silence that had filled the room.

"I say we move on. Next topic?"

Pein, having been ignored, left the room for them to talk amongst themselves.

"**Can we eat them? **I've heard that pretty girls taste good."

"Absolutely f**king not! If they're going to die, the bitches are going to be sacrificed to Jashin-sama!"

"Hurting people is bad!" (Tobi had to join in. He just had to.)

"Tobi?"

"Yes, Itachi-san?"

"How did you join the Akatsuki?"

"BECAUSE TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!"

The others cringed and shielded their ears.

Sasori got up and left, already getting a headache. Deidara smirked at this, for he was used to Tobi's impulses and was no longer as annoyed by them.

"**Tobi?** Please be quiet. We know you're a good boy, but . . . **Shut up**."

Kisame looked over at Zetsu with a 'Thank you' look and spoke.

"Whatever happens, I really don't care. This'll be fun."

"Fun?" Itachi scoffed, skeptical.

"What? It will."

Itachi blinked at Kisame's response. They were S-ranked criminals. They were not supposed to have _fun_.

"You need to loosen up, yeah."

"I have to agree with Blondie. Itachi, you need to get out."

As Kisame and Deidara continued to pester Itachi, Hidan argued with Tobi.

"What kind of idiot doesn't like killing people?"

Tobi sat there whimpering while Hidan loomed over him. The Jashinist grinned while Tobi sat in silence. The heathen would be converted!

"Tobi doesn't like hurting people. . . "

"Too f***ing bad!"

Zetsu looked at the arguments going on and blinked.

He looked at Tobi and Hidan. Hidan was trying to convert Tobi and was telling him "The Wonders of Jashinism". Tobi probably wasn't going to be a Jashinist. Seriously. Imagine it in your mind. Yeah, not happening. Tobi seemed like he was going to burst into tears.

He looked over at Itachi, Deidara, and Kisame. Itachi was stubborn as always. So were Kisame and Deidara. Itachi was highly annoyed, knowing that they weren't going to get him to change his mind. Zetsu, in his boredom, started speaking to himself.

"I feel left out."

"**I'm sorry."**

"You're not really sorry, are you?"

"**Not a bit."**

*To Pein and Konan*

Konan sat at the desk, focusing on making an origami flower. Folding the paper over, she gently placed the finished master piece next to the garden of origami birds and flowers already lining the desk. Taking another sheet, she began working. She failed to notice when the door was opened, causing her to jump slightly when Pein spoke.

"Konan?"

She didn't turn around.

He sighed and sat down on the bed, rubbing his temples. Her back was turned to him- which was just fine in her opinion. You don't just go around saying that you're going to go find some girl to screw around with. _Especially _not in front of your girlfriend. She had reason to be mad, and mad she was. But truthfully, she was trying not to cry, not to think that he was leaving her.

"Konan-"

"Don't want to hear it." She didn't care that she had interrupted him, nor did she turn to face him.

"Konan, give me a moment to ex-"

"No."

Konan usually wasn't stubborn, but when she was, she held her ground.

Pein took his head out of his hands and stared at her. Then, slowly getting up, he moved towards her and put a hand on her shoulder. She closed her eyes in frustration, glaring at him when she opened them.

_At least she isn't full out ignoring me. . . _

She spoke through gritted teeth. "You have one minute to explain what's going on. You'd better talk quickly." She had a tone of seriousness in her voice, meaning every word she said. Pein started to talk.

"This isn't what you think it is."

She rolled her eyes and looked away.

_Yeah, right. . . _

"I was just thinking that since Valentine's Day is coming up, it might be good for the guys to get out. They've been so tense about the plan to capture the Kyuubi, and this was all I could think of to get them to relax a bit."

"So I'm going to be left alone while you guys go and forget about me. On VALENTINE'S DAY. Thanks."

Pein paused, stopping himself from speaking. He let out a sigh and pursed his lips, shaking his head slightly as he looked at the floor. After about a minute, he finally spoke up.

"No. That's not what's going to happen."

"Then what is? Tell me that. Answer my question and I'll be happy. I just want to know why I'm not important, or special, or good enough for you to stay!"

Konan had reached a breaking point, finally lashing out. The paper butterfly she once held in her hands was now a stone, a crushed up ball of nothing- just the way she felt. She turned and glared at him, and very faintly, Pein could see tears running down her face.

He stood there, shocked and rejected.

"Konan. . . "He found it hard to find the words he was looking for.

"Just trust me. I'm not going to leave you; I'm not going to forget about you." Their eyes met, and for the first time in a long time, Pein had an expression that could be considered somewhat sincere.

He sat on the bed and started to explain what was going on.

"I owe you."

Konan looked at him, somewhat confused.

"All those time, the war, the forming of the Akatsuki. You were there."

She slowly nodded her head, the anger slowly seeping away.

"So I owe you. That's why I'm sending the guys away."

"You're not going?"

He shook his head. "No. I wanted to spend the day with you."

Gently smiling, Konan hugged Pein, refusing to let go.

He gently kissed her on the forehead, and everything was right in the world.

Everything except the other Akatsuki members.

* * *

><p>Fate, having thought that this was a kind gesture on Pein's part, decided to help him out a bit.<p>

Translation: Eight fangirls were poofed into the world of Naruto. And that was the beginning of Hell on Earth for the rest of the Akatsuki.

* * *

><p>Woah. . . I don't mean to brag or anything, but I think that thing with Pein and Konan was really good for never writing fluff before. I'm so happy. : )<p>

But anyways, I need OC's! Just tell me a little of what they look like, character match (Nothing will really happen. Remember. I write comedy.) , attitude, and most likely reaction to the character. Characters that need fangirls are as following: Tobi, Kisame, Deidara, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Itachi.

Sasori has been called by my sister, and I'm not giving Zetsu to any of you.

You gotta review for me to continue!


	2. Lily Ann vs Hidan

I own Naruto. Posters. And t-shirts. And a set of the Akatsuki rings. Wait, what? Oh, Masashi Kishimoto owns the series.

So sorry it took so long to update. Y'know, stuff to do.

The OC for this chapter belongs to **RandomAwesomer101**, so thank you for letting me use her! Sorry If she's OOC.

Warning: This chapter contains Hidan. Hidan curses. A lot. Have fun!

* * *

><p>"NO! That bastard won't let me sacrifice anybody today, so I'm not going to fucking leave!" Hidan sat on the couch, arms crossed and a stern look plastered over his face. He wasn't going to move.<p>

"I don't like having to get out either, Hidan. Please?"

Konan was trying to get everybody out of the house as soon as possible (For obvious reasons). Hidan didn't move. Konan sighed and shook her head, taking a moment to think. It struck her then and she smiled a sly grin, making Hidan raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Hidan? Can I tell you something?"

Trying not to let her get the best of him (which many of the Akatsuki members had been able to do), he tried not to show too much of his curiosity.

"What?"

"You see that couch you're sitting on? Well, sometimes, Pein and I-"

In ten seconds flat, (K/N . FLAT.) Hidan was no longer sitting on the couch, but instead hurrying out of the door, leaving Konan smirking to herself before heading back into her room.

***Page Break!***

The ginger girl sat up and rubbed her head, dizzy from the sudden pull out of context. One minute she had been explaining how Kisame was_ not, _I repeat, _was not _cooler than Hidan. The next, she was lying in the middle of a ramen shop which seemed somewhat familiar to her.

_Did I pass out or something? Seriously, I could have sworn I got rid of all that knockout gas. . . _

Lily Ann, who had not yet realized where she was, looked around.

". . . ."

There was no way she was in Konaha. Okay, maybe she was, but it was all just a dream. Or so she thought.

"Hey! You just poofed at nowhere! What jutsu is that?"

She met blue eyes with blue eyes, staring at the boy who had suddenly burst out. Thinking that all of this was a dream, she poked him. He seemed real enough. Time to test it. She then proceeded to punch him in the face for the heck of it. Yep. Definitely not a dream.

He sat of the ground, his ramen spilled all over him. She laughed.

"Wow, you really are as stupid as the fanficton makes you."

"Don't talk to the future Hokage that way! I'm Naruto Uzumaki and you better believe it!"

She stared for a moment, and then burst out laughing. Through her giggles, she choked a few words.

"Keep telling yourself that."

He frowned, getting up. She smiled, walking away. Now the she knew that this was real, she had someone to find. Someone to glomp. Someone to love the hell out of. And he had no clue what was coming to him.

***Back to Hidan***

By this time, Hidan had found his way into a forest, unadmittedly lost. Leaving a string of curses behind him, he traveled until he reached what seemed to be an empty grove of trees.

_Haven't been to this old place in forever. Looks like shit._

It was the place he and Kakuzu had stopped after killing Asuma. Or to Hidan, that one guy. Anyways, it had been a pretty long journey to this place, so Hidan decided to sit down at the base of a tree, leaning back to think.

_Why did that bitch make everybody leave? And what does Pein mean, "No sacrifices."? Yeah right, bastard._

Looking around, it seemed peaceful.

You know who hates peace?

Hidan.

So, he got up and continued walking, straight into the nearest village to cause mass destruction, no longer caring about what Pein had said. The nearest village just happened to be Konaha.

***To Lily Ann***

Lily Ann, at this point, had gotten bored and wandered out the gates of Konaha, carrying a small kunai in her hand. She got it from this one kid she had kicked in the . . . let's just say she had a short temper and he was a target. She knew 'this one kid' to be Sasuke, and smirked as she had walked away.

_Good luck reviving your clan now, Duck butt!_

She started into a forest, not really paying attention until something caught her eye. She knew she was in the Naruto world, but this couldn't be real. I mean, Hidan. Right there. Not even paying attention. Oh, this was gonna be _good._

She placed the kunai in the back pocket, and then started into a running glomp. He didn't even have time to see who it was.

"HIIIIIIDAAAAAANNNN!"

"Get off, fucker!"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

He pushed her off, stared at the giggling girl, and grabbed his scythe.

She didn't care. She was happy. You know that look you get, the one with the wide grin that kind of looks creepy? She was that happy.

Hidan, scythe in tow, ran at Lily Ann, who smiled and prepared herself to go into another attack hug. Didn't exactly turn out as she planned, because with both of them blindly running at the other. (K/N Not like in those cheesy romance movies with the open arms and crap.) (H/N Dang it, I think Chariots of Fire would've gone great with this.) Anyways, Hidan being stronger, she was pinned under him on the forest floor.

Lily Ann smiled. And blushed. And smiled.

". . . ."

". . . Hi?" Lily broke the awkward silence, which was not so much to her awkward as was enjoyable.

Hidan, who had gotten over the initial shock, started to take his scythe and place it to her neck.

"Who the hell are you, and why in Jashin's name do you know who I am?"

Lily Ann, whose eyes had been replaced by saucers, (H/N Not literally, people.) had finally realized that, '_Oh crap, he might actually kill me.'_ Thinking of something, _anything_, that could save her neck, she suddenly screamed out,

"RAAAAAAAAAPEEEEEEE-"

He forced his hand over her mouth, glaring at the gingerette (K/N I don't know if that's a word, and I really don't care.).

"Shut your face, bitch!" (K/N I actually wanted him to say, "You know, that's not a bad idea…." But then I thought of my little sister looking over my shoulder, and the story rating. Sorry.)

She blinked, stared, and grabbed his necklace, smirking all while doing so. Hidan let go of her in shock, the scythe still placed at her neck.

Hidan pulled away, wrenching the necklace out of her grasp. She was _really_ getting on his nerves.

The Jashinist decided that he didn't want to deal with her, and did not particularly care about what Pein had said. He slowly forced the scythe dangerously close to her neck, Lily Ann flailing about, her mind was currently one tracked:

_Oh shit Oh shit Oh shit Oh shit Oh shit. . . _

"I'm a Jashinist!"

He paused, staring at her. His face slow shifted from confusion to disbelief. There was no way. She didn't have a necklace; she didn't have any weapons, and damn it, where had he been all of this time?

Hidan took the weapon from where it was ready to decapitate her and watched as she sat up, rubbing her neck.

"You know, even though that was rude, I still love your guts."

The girl stretched, pulling the man into a hug, which he took awkwardly. Glancing at her in bewilderment, he just had to wonder- How did she know who he was?

"Bitch?"

She sternly gazed up at him. "It's Lily Ann."

". . . . O. . .kay."

By now, both had found this to be slightly awkward, so Lily let go of him.

"So . . . yeah. Hi, Hidan."

"How the hell do you know who I am, bit- Lily Ann?

She blinked. Should she tell him? Whatever.

"Well, you see . . .," She glanced around nervously. "You're not real. Well, not where I come from."

He blinked, one eyebrow arched in question.

"It'll take forever to explain, so listen up."

***Time Skip***

After hearing about you _not existing, _you feel kind of pathetic. Not Hidan. He kept arguing with the girl, who had finally given up with a face palm.

"Fine. Whatever." She had truly given up.

The Jashinist glanced aside, feeling kind of uneasy about this. After a few minutes, he finally spoke up.

"So . . . If you're from that other place, then how did you end up in this shithole?"

Shrugging, she leaned her head on his shoulder. He looked down, and by this time, he was already used to her being so close. Even though she usually had a violent nature, she was calm around him.

"So . . . you're really a Jashinist?"

Lily Ann froze, slowly shrinking away from Hidan. Rubbing her arm nervously, she bit her lip.

"Not _exactly_ . . . " Lily Ann smiled weakly, then quickly looked away from him.

Throwing her off him and into a tree, he got up and growled at her as he held her up by the neck.

"Heathen bitch! You don't even deserve to be sacrificed! I-"

"Wanted to . . . be. . "

She choked out the words, tears forming in her eyes as her air supply was cut off. She couldn't die. Not like this.

"Please. . ."

"WHAT? Make your last words quick, you heathen!

She gasped for air, light fading. She had to tell him. She had to let him know. She whispered quietly, unable to speak. _This really is the end. . ._

"I wanted. . . . To . . . join," she coughed and looked at the man, meeting his purple eyes.

"I wanted to be . . . with . . . like . . ."

By now, her words were barely audible, so much that he could barely hear her breath out the last word- ". . . _you"_

Darkness was all that she saw, all that she felt. Cold was the air that touched her shivering, pale skin. Was this the end? Swirling deeper into the abyss of blank and heartless thoughts, she reached out her hands, fingertips touching only illusions that she thought would save her. Plunged into the nothing, she lost consciousness.

(H/N Oh. My. God. [K/N So. . . not Jashin?] Get out of my note! [K/N whatever.] What I was saying. She was. . . HALLUCINATING! (K/N She wasn't. I was just making it dramatic.) (H/N You sure?) (K/N I'm the author. I'm pretty sure.)

***Another Time Skip***

_So this is it. He killed me. A hot anime character killed me. Great. _

Hidan looked at the girl slumped down, barely alive, under the tree. She wanted to be . . . like _him_? She _liked_ him? He stared at her unmoving figure, feeling unsure about what he had done. How was it possible? Kakuzu said that the only good thing about him was how high the bounty on his head was, Deidara liked pissing him off, and in general, people hated him. Those he didn't kill, anyways. How was she, this little, joyful girl, any different?

He gently picked her up in his arms, sighing.

_Why? Jashin, why did you put her here?_

He walked back to the base, smiling as he remembered what Pein had said:

"Don't come back without someone. Take your time."

***To the Base***

When Hidan (And Lily Ann) got back to the base, it was empty of all others. So, he set her down on the couch and then looked down at her. She was peaceful, actually. Smiling, he sat on the opposite couch and glanced at her.

"Hey. Lily Ann? Bitch? Wake up."

She tightened her closed eyes, turning on her side to face away from him. Not dead, only sleeping.

_At least she's conscious. . . _

"Wake up." Hidan spoke louder, causing her eyes to snap open. She frantically glanced around, forgetting where she was and where she had been. Upon seeing Hidan, she glared. Slowly pulling herself up from the couch, she walked over, and sat next to him. Hidan silently looked at the floor, unsure of what to do.

"Hey. Bastard." Smiling at giving him his own treatment, she laughed. The Jashinist looked up to her.

Lily Ann then slapped him. He stared back at her, his mouth gaping open. Really?

She smirked. "You're immortal, don't get your weenie roasted." (K/N Hikaru made me do it.) (H/N Nuh- uh. *Rolling on the floor with laughter*) (K/N I jokingly suggested it. You_, missy_, said yes and refused to let me put anything else.)

Hidan smirked. "You still want to be a Jashinist?"

Lily Ann nodded her head, laughing and smiling as she did so.

"Okay. First, find some shithead that you really want dead. . . "

* * *

><p>Ta Effing Da. I Feel accomplished. So, I still need OC's!<p>

These are our poor lonely people: Deidara, Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu and Tobi. Sasori and Zetsu have already been called.

**If you want your OC in the story, here's what you'll need to tell me:**

**-Basic appearance**

**-Personality**

**-Reaction to character**

**-Character match**

**-Name (Duh.)**

Please, PLEASE don't give me a Mary-Sue. I won't say anything about it, but I won't use them.

**Thanks to all the reviewers, you make taking the time to write worth it. Please continue to share stories and ideas, comment and question. What can I say? I love my fans. 3**


	3. Jane vs Kisame

Me vs. Writer's Block. Let's hope I win.

So, yeah. . . Sorry for not updating in forever. I've lost my story writing magic for some reason.

**Jamborina**, thanks for the OC. No, it's not a Mary Sue.

Series belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I thought I told you this already.

Neither do I own the game Prototype (AWESOME game by the way).

* * *

><p>"Get out, Fish sticks."<p>

"What?"

"Out. Shoo. Go play somewhere else."

Hidan was pissed at having to leave, so he was dragging the others out with him. Konan would have gotten everyone else out sooner or later, but Hidan didn't know this. So, Kisame was being yelled at to get his "Blue ass out of the damn house before I have sushi for lunch, F*** face."

"Didn't have to be so rude. It's Valentine's anyways, so I was planning to pick up some chicks."

Hidan stared at our special fishy friend, trying not to burst into laughter. (K/N Poor Kisame.) (H/N He is blue.) (K/N I LIKE Kisame. Not as much as Zetsu, but be nice.)

"Who would date a f**king fish? You really are an idiot." Hidan laughed as he walked out of the door, leaving Kisame alone in the living room.

***Jane***

"Get out, Freckles."

Jane's older brother Tim had come to visit her, rolling his eyes when he walked into the room to find her button mashing over the Xbox.

"Dude. Low health. Not now."

She held down the trigger button, laughing at the screams of the now dead gunners trying to kill her.

"KILL ALEX MERCER? QUARANTINE THE CITY? NEVER!"

"You get way too into those games, Freckles. You need to get out more."

"I do not! I like anime too," Jane replied, not taking her stare away from the screen. "Just let me destroy this hive."

"I come over to visit from New York and you're staring at the screen. Come on, is that a warm welcome?"

Sighing, the brunette saved and shut the power off, standing and then smiling at her brother. Even though he was four years older, she still was almost as tall as him. Hugging him and smiling, she had to agree with him. Maybe getting out was a good idea.

"Can we go for a walk?"

"Sure."

***Kisame***

_Really? Is he right? Would anyone like someone as weird as me? No, it's only Hidan saying that. He's an idiot. . . But should I risk it? _

Kisame sat on the couch, pondering whether he had a chance or not for Valentine's Day. Was it worth it?

_You're an S-ranked criminal. It's Valentine's Day. Seriously?_

Sighing, Kisame stood and made his way out the door, having a feeling that this was going to end badly. Even if people didn't recognize him as an Akatsuki member, he couldn't help but think that this was just going to embarrass himself or end up feeling horrible. It didn't matter though. He had come back from missions that would have killed anyone else. Going out on Valentine's Day couldn't hurt.

Looking back once into the entryway of the base, the ninja turned and walked out, deciding to take a walk to calm his mind for a bit. Who knows? He might find someone.

***Jane***

"So how's New York working out for you? Having fun?"

Tim laughed. "Sure. You could say that."

Out of her three brothers, she was closest to Tim. Sure, she loved Ryan and Chester, but they were usually too busy to come visit her. One stationed Arizona, the other working with the government. Not really easy for them to come visit her in New Jersey.

Walking through the park now, the hazel eyed girl noticed a path heading towards a forest. Grabbing her brother's hand, she dragged him onto the path. Smiling, they walked along, talking about how life was treating them and this and that.

"Is programming as fun as you thought it would be?"

"Kind of. Putting the wires together, it seems like a puzzle, really. Just gets boring when they have you working on the same circuit board for hours on end."

"I don't see how that could be fun."

"You take apart wires. I put them together."

"Being on the bomb squad doesn't necessarily mean taking apart wires."

"Yes it does." Jane pointed her index fingers out towards each other and touched them together, then pulled them apart. "Red wire, cut. Done."

Tim chuckled. "Only in movies."

***Kisame***

Walking through a heavily wooded forest, Kisame doubted that there would be anyone in the area. It didn't really matter; Valentine's Day was just a fancy excuse for everyone to be all lovey dovey over each other. At least, that was what he kept telling himself.

Truthfully, when he saw those couples together, he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. It was only human nature to want to be with someone, right?

_But I'm not human._

Snap out of it, Kisame. I'm not gonna write this story if you're all depressed. Okay? Kay. Be happy. (H/N don't worry, be happy~!) (K/N As 99% author of this story, I declare NO REGGAE MUSIC.) (H/N I shot the sheriff~) (K/N *Shot*)

ANYWAYS. *Cough, cough*

***Jane***

"Hey, I see something. I'm gonna check it out."

"Freckles, be careful."

"C4, I'm not a kid. I'll be fine." Jane had called him by his nickname to show him that she meant it. For most people, it was the other way around. Most people weren't Jane Tanner.

She hiked down past some trees, passing a river.

"Hey, Tim. Look what I-"

Tim was gone. It was probably just a joke for her going to the river after he told her not to. It had to be. Crossing back, she searched around the tree where they had sat down by. Where was he? She searched around for a few more minutes.

". . . Found?"

***Kisame***

Walking down to the familiar river, Kisame sighed.

_This is just going another normal day. . ._

That is, until, there was the unfamiliar sound of splashing. The area was pretty far off from any villages. It wasn't possible that another person had found their way into the clearing. At least, it was improbable.

Reaching to his back for Samehada, he frowned at the fact that it wasn't there. He'd left it at the base while Hidan was ushering him out the door. Oh well. It wasn't like he didn't have any jutsu to use.

Scanning the area for the chance that the noise might have just come from an animal, he turned his head sharply and grinned when he heard muttering.

Not an animal.

Thinking of ways to attack without his sword, Kisame suddenly recalled a _very _important fact.

It was Valentine's Day.

It might be a girl.

Slightly smiling, quietly (Or at least trying to be quiet) walked towards where he had heard the voice. After walking about twenty feet or so, he had found the source of the noise- a girl.

She was kind of tall, well built, and had light brown hair. She didn't look like a ninja. It didn't really matter.

_Should I try and talk to her?_

Well, he didn't really have to.

***Jane***

"C4? Come out. This isn't funny."

No reply.

She was soooo going to get back at him for this. Rolling her eyes, she continued on searching the area until she had seen something- Rather, someone. Someone VERY familiar.

Raising an eyebrow in confusion, Jane ransacked her mind for something to explain the occurrence of _Kisame _in the forest.

It was New Jersey, for crying out loud. There were what, TWO anime conventions a year? It was February. There wouldn't be a convention for another three months. Besides, who would cosplay in the middle of a forest? It would only ruin the costume.

Besides, this guy was doing way to well to be a cosplayer. He was the right height, and the outfit was flawless.

There was only one way to figure out.

Forgetting about finding her brother, Jane hesitated and then released one word from her lips:

"Kisame?"

***Kisame***

His eyes meeting with the before mentioned girl, he froze.

How did she know who he was? The bingo books? Wanted posters? Whichever way, she shouldn't know who he was. . . But she didn't look like a threat. She didn't even look at him the way an enemy does, with that cold glare of hate. No. . . . The look was different. Calm? Peaceful? No. . . . She looked happy, of all things. How? They had never met, let alone even seen the other. How could she be happy to see him then?

It didn't matter, because the girl continued on-

"Kisame? Is that you? REALLY you, I mean. Not a fake, an imitation?"

He studied the girl and decided it was best to answer her. She was no match for him if it came down to it. Besides, this was a good opportunity for him.

"Yeah?"

The girl's eyes grew wide with sudden realization and delight.

"You're real?" Her voice rose somewhat in what seemed to be excitement, but he brushed it off.

"Kid. If I weren't real, I wouldn't be here, now would I?"

And suddenly, Kisame had the girl hugging him tightly, refusing to let him go.

***Jane***

This was Valentine's Day, right? That should cover her actions, right? It didn't change the fact that she had caught the Missing Nin by surprise in her embrace. She smiled softly and let go, looking at the ground.

"Sorry."

Kisame just shook his head and smiled.

"It's fine. By the way, a name's nice."

"Oh. . . Jane. Jane Tanner. I'd ask for your name but-"

"You've kind of figured it out already." Kisame grinned. "So how'd you know who I was? This place is pretty far from any villages, so I'd also like to know how you got here."

Jane paused. She couldn't really explain how she had gotten here. She just did.

". . . "

***Later***

"I've heard crazier stories."

"So you believe me?"

"Not really. I highly doubt that there is an entire series about me."

"Not you. The Nine-tails."

"Oh."

"Yup. . ."

Kisame had found himself talking to Jane, and after a while, both were walking side by side through the clearing. It wasn't awkward for either.

Jane wasn't a threat to Kisame.

Kisame was just another person to Jane. Another really cool person.

So both talked, just enjoying the company of the other. Soon, the trail ventured out of the forest and into a small park where kids were playing and life went on.

"Hey. Can we sit down?"

Kisame shrugged. Taking this as an okay, Jane took his hand, dragging him to a table.

He didn't notice the light blush that played upon her cheeks when she touched his hand.

He didn't realize by now that she treated him normally; that she didn't judge him - for being blue or a criminal.

He didn't realize that that she had chosen a seat as to where they were directly facing each other.

And most of all- He didn't remember that of all days, today was Valentine's Day.

"So, as a ninja, why are you out today?" Her voice had snapped him out of his own thoughts, bringing him back into reality. Grinning a sharp toothed grin, he replied.

"Just getting out for a bit. You know, to-"

And Kisame now realized that today was Valentine's Day.

Now, Kisame wasn't one to easily blush. He's a criminal for crying out loud. But to say the least, there was something visible tinting his cheeks. Call it blushing if you want. He wouldn't admit it.

"To?"

Looking down, Kisame decided to let her figure that out for herself.

"Was it a mission? It's not likely. Who'd send a person out for a mission on Valentine's-"Jane's eyes grew wide. "Oh."

Looking away, Kisame nodded and got up. Turning away, he glanced back for a sliver of a moment.

"Yeah. Have a good day, Jane."

***Jane***

Why was he walking away? Was it something she had said?

Sighing, Jane closed her eyes and thought- Why?

Placing her arms on the table, the brunette pushed herself up and walked a few paces towards the ninja.

"Kisame?"

His name hung in the air along with the accompanying tension. Kisame didn't turn.

"What?" The reply was quiet, barely audible.

"What's wrong?"

"Wrong? What's wrong? Kid, I'll tell you what's wrong."

Kisame turned, lashing out at her. Jane didn't move.

"What's wrong is that year after freaking year, I'm expected to go out and meet some nice girl! Here's some news for you: There AREN'T any nice girls. Why? Because no one likes a blue, gigantic freak like me!"

Jane stared at the growling face inches from hers, heart sinking. . . She liked him.

Was it that hard to tell?

Her eyes narrowed as she turned on her heels, leaving him standing towards her back.

"Apparently I'm not a nice girl then!" Seeing her walk off, Kisame had finally realized the affect his words had had on her. Closing his eyes in frustration, he opened them and started to walk after her.

Being a ninja and all, it was pretty easy for him to catch up with her.

Of all the things he could say to her at the moment, he could only say one thing. So, he did.

"I'm sorry."

Cheesy as it was on his part, it meant something. It really did.

Turning to face him, Jane stared into his eyes. He meant it. Looking at the ground trying not to reveal her smile, she grabbed his hand.

Kisame stood in shock.

"Why?"

"Because I love my freak."

And the one important thing at the moment didn't even reach her mind:

Her brother was gonna be _so_ pissed at her.

* * *

><p>I think I did good. Just review and tell me!<p>

By the way here are the chapters I have left to write:

Lola/Kakuzu (Lola Kazuhiro)

Evelyn/Deidara (caketheif)

Piper/Tobi (Woodshrew)

Hikaru/Sasori (Little sister. She doesn't have an account.)

Alexis/Zetsu (That's me. :) )

That means we still have Itachi, people. Just putting that out there.

Remember, Reviewing is the nicest thing you can do for an author. :)


End file.
